My Story is Art – Our Journey to Baby

{Well friends, it’s time.  Time to share with you very scary-exciting-I-may-fall-off-chair news with you all. }

If you follow along on Instagram or Facebook, this won’t come as a surprise but if not, read on….

My hubby and I (Adam) just celebrated our fifteenth anniversary this year.  And yes, friends we are finally “ready” to start our family.  I know, you’re wondering “what in the world took you so long!?”  Well let me tell you.  And before I launch into my story, let me say this, in answer of those wondering why I’m sharing so much on my business blog, why it matters to know all these details…??

“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord.” Psalm 113:9

I feel strongly and have lived in the truth for most of my adult life, that artists work from their souls, from the very pit of their emotions, that smolder deep within and give them a special connection with their world.  Part of this intense connection and passion stem from being emotionally driven and willing to share the moments and stories that make our hearts skip a bit.  So yes, I suppose I’m saying that…

{…being a painter and living this artful life compels me to share with you…}

I long for it. Sharing my story is a means of expressing myself and in some facets a way for you to better understand the work I create.

“And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.” Matthew 18:5

About five years ago I had a glimmer of something in my mind that I didn’t recognize. Many of my high school friends were pregnant already, thinking of getting pregnant or already mothers.  I’d never really considered motherhood before as it seemed like something everyone else did, but not me.  So when I felt the stirrings of what I later realized was my motherly instinct kicking in, I didn’t quite know what to do with myself…so I did nothing.  My business was beginning to soar and filled my days with constant learning experiences, stresses and victories…I had a husband I adored and honestly found it hard to imagine how a baby could make things any more enjoyable than they already were.

“Pray without ceasing…” 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Fast forward a few years and now it was my Hubby’s turn to feel the baby tug on his heart. It was sadly though, around this time that we suspected that biological children weren’t in the cards for us.  I’ll spare you the gory details but let’s just say,  God was just beginning then, to lead me down a path I had no interest in…I fought every step of the way.

{The word “adoption” kept coming into my mind…}

I’d find myself whispering it in my mind…I’d hear the word bounce around in my head an have no idea why.  Stories of adopted families began filtering into my conversations for no good reason.

{God, yes God was trying to tell me something.  I still didn’t want to listen.}

I finally couldn’t ignore the adoption clanging in my head, so went to Adam.  He listened thoughtfully but said we should keep trying.  No fertility heroics, mind you, but we figured if God wanted us to have children would he provide them naturally?

No, indeed.

“The Lord is good, a Strength and Stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge and trust in Him.” Nahum 1:7

Adam eventually came around to the idea and we began our research.  Little did we know that our research would turn into years of questioning, false starts and roadblocks.  We looked into fostering, international adoption, local smaller agencies, one of which we signed up with and are still waiting to hear from!  Amidst all this research and doubt, adoption was still weighing heavy on my heart.  I felt the pull to this lot but it seemed like every step we took, we were met with resistance.  “God”, I said, “you want this for us, it seems, but why won’t you let it happen?”

{I have to be honest friends.  There were many times we came close to throwing in the
towel.  Times when God’s voice on the subject became so faint and hard to hear we
figured we should go on living our lovely life, travel a ton and just keep loving each
other.  Maybe we simply weren’t meant for children?}

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

But still I pushed on, at times with half a heart though.  I’d research adoption agencies until the wee hours and my bleary eyes began to fail me.  I joined private Facebook groups where adoption situations were posted.  I browsed photos of older children needing homes, but nothing felt right…

{I felt like I was trying to shop for my family and I knew that wasn’t God’s plan.}

One evening I was posting questions on a Facebook group’s page and I began chatting with a lovely woman named Darla.  She offered to give me a call and of course I thought “okay, she seems nice, but who in the world is this woman, and why is she taking time to talk a stranger through her adoption woes?”  Two hours later I realized I had met my adoption angel.  Darla had been through similar experiences as Adam and I.  She told her story, shared her struggles and listened to mine.  Really she was just a kind, generous soul on the other line, trying to help a stranger.  By the end of the conversation she had introduced me to someone she called an adoption consultant.  I had no clue and honestly thought it sounded pretty fishy.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

But friends, no, her introduction of Faithful Adoption Consultants was no such thing. Within a few days we were having a phone meeting with a consultant there named “Laura” and within a few weeks we working with them and on a solid path, for the first time in years, to becoming a family.  My fears and doubts, in a matter of a week, melted away.  I was hearing God’s voice again, stronger than ever.  Yes, we were to be parents…this was meant for us.

{So let’s fast forward two months and here we are, patiently (impatiently) waiting to be matched with a dear Birthmom, who will entrust us with the care of her child for the rest of our lives.  It’s big friends.  So big….So incredibly amazing though.}

I’ve been sharing a ton about our journey of Instagram and Facebook so feel free to join me there for the continuing story.  So much fun is happening amidst the waiting (baby showers, nursery decorating, name selections…).

{Check out the following hashtags to stay up to date! In addition to sharing fun details about the shower and nursery, I’ve been writing a journal to our sweet baby… #ourjourneytobabyblooms #botticellibabynursery #journaltobaby}