If negativity rears its ugly head, use your best judgement to decide whether to address it or ignore it.
Wisdom says “you can’t please everyone all the time” and some guests might have less-than-kind opinions. When negative comments are shared or thrown at the couple directly, it can create a challenging situation. If you catch wind of someone being negative, do a few mental checks to keep your cool:
Take a pause and check in with a trusted confidant. A quick reaction to gossip is not always the best practice. Take a moment before you decide how you address it. Discuss with a trusted person to get their take on the situation. Emotions can run high when it comes to weddings, which does not always bring out the best in everyone. A little distance and perspective go a long way.
Consider the source. Does the person have a reputation for gossip or negativity, being unfiltered or down-right rude? If it’s a known Debbie Downer, their words should carry very little weight.
Determine if the comments are harmless or if they are actually damaging. Sometimes opinions can come across more harshly than intended, so in this case, it might be something to brush off. If someone is being unmistakably derogatory, a line has been crossed and you may want to address it.
If you decide to address those casting a negative light on the wedding plans, it will be important to calmly and kindly address the situation, with the main goal of diffusing the negativity.
Communicating openly and clearly is very helpful to avoid those involved from speculating and filling in the gaps with gossip or misinformation. Sometimes just sincerely asking others to share their thoughts, ideas and experiences can help them feel included and squash any judgmental feelings. People love to feel needed or helpful, so simply getting them involved will have them associate your wedding with positivity.
Keep in mind that others’ opinions of your wedding plans are not the priority. A wedding is an occasion for two individuals making a promise to do life together, and that should be the focus. Of course you want to consider your guests’ experience as you invite them to bear witness and celebrate, but that doesn’t mean their opinions should dictate what is done. If your wedding plans break away from traditions, it can be especially hard for some people to understand, but ultimately that is a “them” problem and not a “you” problem. Stick to what is most important to you, but when you have the ability to hear the opinions of others, accept them with grace and sincere appreciation.
